Poetry

It crept into my life
Unnoticed and sly
It watched me from afar
Stood at my window after dark

It held me in its dreams
Nothing was what it seemed
When I would cry it waited
As it took my soul and grated

I could feel it around
But it was without a sound
I woke up to an imaginary touch
It had me within its clutch

I would scream in its presence
It learned how to make silence
With its razor to my arm
Pressing in its charm

Inside my skin it would cut the designs
It swept my blood upon the shoreline
I screamed out in pain
And it left a stain

I'm tired of fighting it
I'll finally admit
Your anger will kill me
Until I wake up and breath

A silent teardrop falls
Off my pale white cheeks
I show you that I'm strong
When inside I'm so weak

Hold my head up high
I know what is right
To be the girl I think that you want
I won't cry tonight

The weather has gotten so cold
And my heart is beating so fast
You hold my hand
And my image crashed

I can't show you this side
The side of me that will cry
I have to keep my composure
But I also can't lie

So can you make me a promise?
That these tears won't push you away
That I can be myself in your arms
And live with a smile each day

I look in the mirror
Who is this girl I see
I vision of a person
I never wanted to be

Scars on both my arms
From self-inflicted hate
Tear stained cheeks
From unwanted mistakes

There is horror in those eyes
From memories of pain
But when I think of tomorrow
All I feel is rain

In a crowd of faceless names
No one sees past the scars
But to have the image I want
Will I really go that far?

Far enough to force my fingers
Further down my throat
Far enough to stop this eating
Where will I find that hope?

I find that hope in the pills
That rid me of these sins
But here I am in a fight with myself
In a battle to be thin

I fell asleep last night
I had the perfect dream
I dreamt that I had become thin
So thin my body screamed

I looked into my reflection
All I saw were bones
I knew that had finally beat this
I was no longer alone

Mia stood by my side
While people looked away
When I was screaming out for help
Mia heard me pray

But I woke up this morning
And tears filled my eyes
Because everything in the dream
Were nothing but lies

I have no self-control
I'll be worthless and alone
But when beauty chooses its home
My body WILL be its throne

Bleeding memories through my heart
Broken pieces have fallen apart
Lost in a crowd of faceless names
Watching as my whole life changed
But can't you hear what I said
And I'll end up losing my head
My arms are screaming out in blood
But you sent me this deadly flood
Fight the pain of these emotions
Watching for my body in that blood-red ocean

But a broken heart can bleed too
Just as I did for you
A nighttime star was just a lie
Because those wishes only made me cry

Some of those words mattered
But they were all forgotten and shattered
Cause in a life that fights death
You handed me my last breath
I'm destined to walk among the dark
Because without you I can't play this part
Of a happy young girl
Who's not broken in this world
I'll find the last place to lay down my head
And finish it off with a bullet of lead

Because a broken heart can bleed too
Just as I did for you
A nighttime star was just a lie
Because those wishes only made me cry

She'll ride away from the wreckage
On a cold, silver tray
A white, red stained sheet
Covering her face

She emptied her soul to you
And all you could do was stare
Into her empty soul
She knew you couldn't care

But what was life to her?
Just to live in your heart
She killed her own dream
And it tore her apart

What would happen next?
With each meal she'd skip
You would love her more
And you'd kiss her soft lips

But you ignored each attempt
She made to love you
You pushed her aside
As she screamed I'll mean something to you!

Burning embers in the night
The last candle dies with the light

An echoing scream rings through the halls
No one to notice, she's going to fall

Chemicals fueling the fire
Burning the life of her desire

Golden moonlight doesn't shine
On a shattered heart so divine

Her realm of darkness comes unglued
To what is this that they allude

A bloody wrist left cold and scarred
She's letting go and falling hard

Swollen fingers down her throat
Choking up forgotten hope

Gasping for air beneath the rain
Hoping to release the pain

But now she can't stand on her own
Her weak legs have lost their bone

Will she succeed in her quest to be thin?
Is this a fight that she can't win?

Another statistic, passed out on the floor
Another statistic, she's not broken anymore

I can't promise I won't cry
Truth be told I am scared

Life is as unsure
As the future itself
And I am drowning

Some nights are easier
And others break my heart
I can't look past tomorrow
And promise not to cry

I'll be strong
Fake a smile
Hold back my fears
But I promise
That I'll try not to cry

All the days of my life
Run through my mind
The mistakes that I've made
Seem to run on forever
They make me promise
That I'll try not to cry

My days on earth
Are coming closer to an end
Because every day
Is the first
Of the rest of this life

I'll suppress my position
And I'll hide in the memories
The future won't find me

I am tormented by the sunset
That brings tomorrow closer
For once that day gets here
The sunset soon follows
And as each day passes
I am forced to grow up

But most of all
I can promise you
That my eyes will cry

I'm standing on my middle ground
Between my childhood
And that phase called adulthood
Awkward and scared
I can promise you
That I will definitely
Cry

Dedicated to the soldiers of the 707TH

The most loyal soldiers you'll meet
With honor so brave and true
Risking their lives day after day
For these colors: Red, White and Blue

They were born into freedom
And won't give it up without a fight
They'll protect every right we have
Even if it leads them into the dark of night

These soldiers serve for you and me
And for the flag most of all
For what these stars and stripes stand for
They won't ever let it fall

So today I will pray
That God cherish you tonight
That he keeps you as our soldier
And fills your heart with pride

We honor our heros
For you are above all the rest
No superman can compare
For you are above all, the best

Daddy ran away
From these children and his wife
Daddy found someone new
And started a new life
Daddy never called
As we grew up all alone
Daddy would send presents
To our cold and lonely home
Daddy broke my heart
Because he stayed so far away
Daddy doesn't care
That nothing is ok
Daddy and I met
But it was all a mistake
Daddy's promises were lies
Everything he said was fake
Daddy told me I could be
In this part of his life
Daddy lied again
His words sting like a knife
Daddy's doesn't know
About all the tears and pain
Daddy can't see how hard I try
to stay sheltered from his rain
Daddy isn't a dad at all
Just a father to this little girl
Daddy doesn't shelter her
From the cold hard world

I can see your footprints next to mine
And in the sand we walk side by side

You've guided me past pain and tears
And I've seen the devil in my fears

I've cried to myself and denied you
And I've been lost in the pain without you

But you gave me hope when I was lost
Even though it was at your cost

You believed in my faith when I couldn't
And pulled me back under your current

I've said you weren't there
And acted like I didn't care

But you still carry me through
When I didn't care about you

But now I'm giving it all up to you
And letting you help me through

I know your love fills my heart
And you won't let me fall apart

How could I have been so confused
I see now, my life belongs to you!